Things I Have Right Now.

1. A raging, violent case of heartburn from a glass of water. WATER. Not even ice water, just room temperature water that was sitting on my nightstand. How is it fair that I am supposed to be drinking upwards of 100 ounces of this crap a day? By the time I give birth I may just have a hole where my throat used to be.

2. No clue when said heartburn will choose to strike. I can eat my favorite tortilla soup with loads of crushed red pepper and extra hot hot sauce, fine. An apple? Not so much.

3. Not very much room left in the belly for this guy. He's gonna be a whopper, I just know it. Already I can feel my bones separating from the weight of him, and I'm fairly certain that that did not happen with Ella until around 36 or 37 weeks. And she was a smidge under 9 pounds. God help me.

4. A burning desire for a big margarita/beer/whatever. Or ten of them.