Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Real Reason.

Trying today, in the midst of all of the wrapping and visiting and last minute shopping, to remember the real reason why we do all of this. I posted this last year, and I might just post it every Christmas because I like it that much. And because it's my blog and I can do what I want.

Monday, December 14, 2009

My Day In Numbers, aka There's Not Enough Vodka In The World

To add to the madness that is December in this house, we not only get to throw two birthday parties, oh no no no. We get to have WELL VISITS!!! To those of you non-parents out there, that right there is code for Water Boarding Level Torture. I can make my way to the pediatrician's office and put up with all of the crap that goes along with it when one of my kids is sick and NEEDS medical attention. But for some reason it always annoys me more when they are perfectly healthy and we have to spend half of our day in a petri dish waiting room. So, without further bitching and moaning about today, I give you a countdown.

12: the number of people in line ahead of me to valet park their cars. Approximate wait time: seven hours.

11: The number of kids on the Sick Side of the waiting room, germing up the place. We were the only healthy ones there. I bet that lasts until tomorrow when we all wake up either puking or with swine flu.

10: Number of times Ella had a mini nervous breakdown about having a shot, even though I had reassured her since 6am that she did not have to get a shot.

9: How long we waited in the waiting room for the pediatrician to come in. Nine. As in HOURS.

8: Number of teeth Charlie should have by the end of the week. He saw two of them about to pop through. Equals: More fevers, drool, hand-gnawing and screaming.

7: Times that I poured Germ X on both kids' hands between the waiting room and the exam room.

6: Times that Ella interrupted the doctor when he was trying to talk to me about Charlie. Resulting in massive meltdowns that she wasn't the center of attention, oh my god Charlie how could you steal my spotlight by needing health care?

5: Number of times Ella asked the doctor if he liked her pretty blue panties.

4: Number of times Ella offered to show perfect strangers in the waiting room her scar from her stitches.

3: Number of live viruses in a needle jabbed into my son's legs.

2: Number of stickers Ella stole. Times twelve.

1: Number of infected ears (Charlie's!)*.

*Funny story, heh heh. Charlie has had a mystery something or other going on for the last week or so. Symptoms include massive amounts of drool, foul not-of-this-world poop, and chewing on his hands constantly. Teething! I was so sure it was teething. The his snot Which is decidedly not a symptom of teething. Not one to rush into the doctor at the first sign of a 99 degree fever, I stuck with "Yeah, um, teething." People would ask "Why is Charlie clawing at his face and banging his head into the wall?" And I would reply "He's kinda...teething? I think? Maybe?". So golly gee, imagine my surprise when our pediatrician found an ear infection in my sweet boy. Parenting FAIL.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

It has officially begun: The Time Of Year That I Do Not Sit Down For One Single Moment Because There Is Too Much To Do. This? Is not an exaggeration. The minute that Thanksgiving is over I know it is coming, it is looming over my head like a big rain cloud about to burst. It all kicks off with Charlie's birthday on the third, followed closely by Ella's birthday on the ninth, followed by a mad dash to complete Christmas shopping, followed by actual Christmas, and then our anniversary, then New Years. There are parties to attend, parties to host, shopping to get done, food to cook. It is all starting tomorrow with not one but two, yes TWO! parties at our house. Ella is having a small party for her friends...she wanted to let everyone make their own ice cream sundaes. After the guests from that party leave I will have approximately fifteen minutes to clean up the aftermath, set out all of the food for the next party, and maybe take a swig (or twelve) of wine before 25 people make their way into our home for a joint birthday party for Ella and Charlie. So we will be partying here in this house from 3pm until...whenever I shoo the last guests out of the house somewhere around 7-ish. At which time I will promptly collapse onto the couch in a heap and sleep until my alarm goes off Monday morning, at 5:15am.

IN other news, Charlie is ONE! ONE YEAR OLD! My God, this year has simultaneously crept by and flown by, if that's possible. The parts that crept by were, um, the entire first four months of his little life in which he made me consider tying my own tubes each night and the crappy parts like teething and sleep training. But the parts that have flown by, oh! the sweet snuggles and the first smiles and the pride I felt watching him learn new things, and at times I swear I could literally SEE him growing up before my eyes. I remember feeling this same way when Ella turned one. On one hand , the really bad parts are over with and gone, hooray! But, on the other hand, the really really great parts are also gone forever, and that is sad. Now we march onward into the land of temper tantrums, walking, talking, and lots more snuggling.

Congratulations, you wonderful little person. We made it! And it only cost Mommy a small portion of her sanity.