Turns out? I am not all that much smarter than the rednecks I was mocking yesterday. At least they were having a conversation about sunscreen, whereas I was completely oblivious to the fact that my shoulders and back were busy turning a lovely shade of dark, dark, almost-purple red. Stupid Rednecks: 1. I'm-So-Much-Smarter-Than-Them smarty pants me: big fat sunburned ZERO.
Also, the husband? Not much smarter than me, I'm afraid. I have no clue how we have collectively managed to keep two children alive. While I was writhing in pain on the couch last night, he was nice enough to go out to the drug store to pick up some emergency aloe for my burns. Awwww, what a good hubs. When he got home, I assumed the position: face down, tank top straps pulled off, get your mind out of the gutter I just wanted some aloe put on my back. So he pulls the bottle out of the bag, and I am all ready to see some sweet relief in the form of sticky, globby green aloe gel, and he pulls out.....aloe and cucumber scented LOTION. LOTION. Seven dollar lotion that has about 0.0054% aloe in it. I almost cried. His argument? "It says aloe on the front, it's the same thing." I slathered it all over my back anyway, as it seemed a better option than the Bath and Body works mint hand cream in my bedside table.
I told hubs that next time he needs deodorant, I'm going to just buy him some air freshener. Because it SAYS "freshens and deodorizes" on the front. It's the same thing.
Not aloe. NOT ALOE!!!1!