Colic. Completely healthy, chubby, thriving baby boy who screams for no reason for hours on end. Hooray. While I am thrilled that he is healthy and gaining weight well, I was maybe a little bit kinda hoping for a "Here's the problem, and here is a simple solution to it" answer from our pediatrician. Nope, what we got was a clean bill of health and a doctor who looked at us with more pity than I've ever seen in one person. Whether that was because he said his oldest daughter had colic and he knows what we are going through, or because there I was, no shower or makeup, and completely sobbing in the exam room because dangit I am tired and worn out and weak and have HAD IT, I don't know. He told us that things usually get marginally better around 6 or 7 weeks, and then get a lot better by about 12 weeks. So, best case scenario, we have 2 more weeks of this hell, and worst case...2 MONTHS GOD HELP US. I am just floored by how incredibly hard this is. I am not a first time mom, I have been through a lot of crap with Ella...the flu, sleep issues, the three miserable nights spent letting her cry it out to resolve said issues, tantrums, night feedings, days/nights mixed up, etc. But this takes the frigging cake. Hell, it takes the whole bakery. Most of my day was spent in tears trying to just put one foot in front of the other and take that next breath. This may sound dramatic, but I really don't consider myself a super dramatic person, and I thought I was so prepared to take on the newborn baby thing again but this crap has thrown me for a loop, and I'm not sure I'm handling it very well. Mikan and I are just hanging in there, waiting it out, knowing that one day soon Charlie will start smiling, and while that won't erase the stress from Screamfest 2009, it will lighten the load just a smidge, I think. In the meantime, I am listening to this song on my ipod over and over and ding dang over again because it helps me remember that these days are just a phase, as is everything in life. And they will come to an end at some point. Hopefully.
2 comments:
Oh, Abby! I am SO sorry! I truly, truly wish I was closer and could help! I know that feeling of dread and hopelessness (you know our sleep issues), it sucks, it's scary and, as you know, had me never wanting another baby....EVER! I really hope the new things you are trying continue to work, and that in 2 weeks (or sooner) he is a new baby!
I know it doesn't help, but I am so sorry your little one is making life so much harder. Life is hard enough already. I just wanted to let you know you have really touched me this morning. I've never heard that song and brought me to tears. I don't rely on the Lord as much as I really need him and I am trying harder each day to trust in him more for my needs. You have helped me for today. Thank you! I will pray for relief for you and him.
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